Caroline Rogers - Self Portrait 12

For my art final, I did two paintings. The idea behind this project is that I wanted to do something that showed two completely different sides of me while still showing that it's one overall person. So I did the same painting in two totally different ways. The difference in the color choices in the two paintings represents two things: my outer versus my inner appearance and my mental illness: manic depression.

I didn't want to use black or white in either painting unless i had to. I also didn't mix the colors with the mixing tool. I just sort of swirled them a little with my brush to keep the colors more separate. In both paintings, I painted a tree for all the stereotypical reasons that I'm still growing but at the same time have grown so much. But the tree is shaped like a dancer (in an arabesque with her arms over her head) because dance is the thing in life that has brought me the most joy. Also, within the leaves in each painting are shapes that are significant to the personality that the painting conveys. Also, orange and green are the only two colors that really appear in both paintings because those are my two favorite colors.

The painting on the left is my "outer" appearance. I have a sunny and bright personality which is conveyed in the painting. Also, this tree is hollow to show a lack of depth in an outward impression. The shapes that appear in that painting are:

1. A treble clef - for my love of music and the way it's changed my life
2. The number 5 - the number of head injuries I've survived.
3. The number 2 - I am the second born in my family. And 2 has been my number in every sport I've ever played.
4. The first letter of each of my family member's names: V, A, K, M, and D.
5. A smile - because I love smiling
6. A footprint - because I want to be remembered by those I love. And I have broken knuckles in my feet but continue to live my life in spite of them.

The painting on the right is my "inner" appearance. Outside, I may come across as careless and fun but there are a lot of dark places in my mind and messy things in my life that have left me scarred. The shapes in the leaves in this one are:

1. Stitches - self explanatory
2. The word "ME" - because I'm really hard on myself and cause a lot of my own issues.
3. A knife - from a very dark self-mutilation phase
4. The letter "A" - for a guy who I was in a really bad relationship with.
5. The letter "L" - for all the lies I tell/have told/will tell.
6. The letter "D" - for my dad and our rocky relationship.
7. A moon - for the summer I became an insomniac and endured the most miserable three months of my life.

Sorry that was so long. I feel like a proper explanation is required to explain why I painted a tree for my self portrait.